Veronica: Um Livro Nunca Lançado

Há muitos anos, tive a ideia de escrever um livro de poesias chamado Veronica. O projeto foi escrito em inglês, e cheguei a entrar em contato com algumas editoras internacionais, mas, infelizmente, não houve interesse por parte delas e acaba que nunca lancei este livro. Neste post, compartilho com você todo o conteúdo que escrevi para o livro, caso tenha curiosidade em explorar. Decidi mantê-lo exatamente como foi criado na época, sem alterar nada além da formatação. Antes de mergulhar no texto, confira as capas que criei para o livro: a frontal e a traseira.

Veronica

A Poetry Compilation

By Juan Barreto Gislon

Greetings.

I was born on September 4th, 2003 in a small city called Lages, in the State of Santa Catarina in Brazil, and have lived here for almost my entire life. I never really had anyone to share what went on with my mind, my parents are not the good type of people to tell things and for the longest time I had no real friends. Games and internet were what kept me on through most of the time. Mentioning internet, it is thanks to this magical thing that I was able to learn English and consequently, study two in different courses in order to become fluent. With this in mind, I have to tell you that I know there is still a lot to learn, my English might not be perfect, but every day we learn something new.

Right now, I am 18 years old, having only started listening to music when at 14, I would say there is a lot to discover still. Even though, the short timespan I had with music has changed me a lot. Music is not just “music”, it is a lifestyle, it changes how you feel, it changes how you perceive the world, and liking music so much, I decided to write my own songs. In the end, I have no singing skills, no band and do not know anyone committed nor willing to have an actual band with me. Instead, I decided to write poems.

This poetry compilation features many different ideas and concepts: emotional scripts, goofy takes on conspiracy theories, criticism of multiple different things such as politics and religion, texts concerning around nature, pollution and global warming. Some takes on experiences I had and bad memories I had to deal and go ahead with them, always learning from past mistakes. A little bit of everything as you will see.

I hope you have a great time reading my first book…

…Enjoy!

Veronica, Part I: Flickering Light

In the dead of the night,

Veronica awakes from her nightmares.

Pitch-black darkness surrounds,

In this monochromatic world,

With these gray dreams.

Veronica lights up her lamp.

The flickering light…

The flickering light gives her enough warmth…

The only thing she needs to be sure.

Alleys full of filth, dust covers everything.

Victorian building towering above, the city standing high.

Steam-powered machines, pollution takes over.

Veronica is sick, toxic air filling her lungs,

A carriage pulled by fancy horses, rats filling the streets.

In this depressing world,

Veronica still finds happiness.

Long walks with her lamp…

She needs nothing else,

Nothing other than the flickering light.

The light that fills what she needs,

The only thing she needs.

Veronica, Part II: Steampunk

Valves and hot steam.

Pollution and waste.

Parasites and machines.

Brainless masses.

Empty world.

Balloons and cogs.

Pipes and bricks.

Pressure and smoke.

Veronica lives.

Voices are echoing.

She knows what she has to do.

She knows this will all end.

She knows there is not enough time.

Veronica, Part III: Cemetery

Veronica is walking out again.

She visits that same old place again,

The same place as last time.

The world has been dead for a long time…

But this place feels alive.

This comfortable place,

Where gives Veronica peace.

There is no such place like this,

Veronica sits down,

By the grave of her parents.

The voices seem stronger,

The voices seem louder…

Their presence still with her.

Their tombstones start melting,

Just as the acid rain starts falling from the heavens,

As if they were crying to her…

As if the voices wanted to tell Veronica something…

She knows what she has to do.

She knows this will all end.

She knows there is not enough time.

Veronica, Part IV: Schizophrenia

The voices cry for Veronica.

The voices order Veronica.

The voices from inside Veronica.

Ever since they were gone.

Ever since they died.

The guilt never went away.

She had to take her mind off it.

She had to have a taste.

As they murmur to the special daughter.

The special daughter.

Schizophrenia.

She knew it was her fault.

They went down because of her.

A parent’s love of their children.

The toxic clouds of acid rain.

The city is in pain.

Stories scorched.

Memories turned into ashes.

Ghosts everywhere.

Her parents long gone,

All because of her.

As the guilt ate her from the inside.

The special daughter.

Had to have a taste.

Schizophrenia.

Veronica, Part V: Monochromatic World

She thought it was her fault,

She knew they loved her,

She knew they would do anything for her,

So they died for her.

She could not live with the guilt,

So she used something to relax.

But it did not go as she thought.

Ever since they died.

She was never the same.

Their special daughter.

Now all is black and gray and white.

It has been a long time since her mind was clear,

The light, the flickering light,

The strong light of the flames,

The flickering light on the ashes,

This lamp has reminded her

Of what happened so long ago.

She knows what she has to do.

She knows this will all end.

She knows there is not enough time.

She has to get herself before the world does.

She has to end it all before nature does.

In this monochromatic world.

She has to end it before it is too late.

Sleepless

Insomnia takes over my body.

Having not slept.

This unbearable pain.

Mind not thinking straight.

Endless, Sleepless,

Nights.

The one thing that has ever helped me.

Music changed how I see things.

Now I am free.

Now I can sleep.

Music helped me.

Music made me live.

Quarantine

The best time I ever had.

At home, not having to go to those places I hated

At peace, not having to deal with people.

The happiest time I ever had.

No more fake smiles.

No more stupid mindsets.

No more ignorant fools.

So good to not see.

Those people who did not care

How I was.

I was just, at home

In my bedroom.

How I wish to live

Like that forever.

Skin

Hurting.

Every single day.

Whiteheads, Blackheads.

Skin turns red with the blood.

When you get rid of them

They just all come back,

Even more painful.

Inflammation, Pus.

Blood spills.

When does it end?

Short

Short

Is our life.

They are the real Monsters

You got it now, you have it now.

No way back.

You know there is no cure.

Now people see you as a monster,

An abomination.

Their ignorance is too big for even themselves.

You feel tired.

You feel sick.

Everything hurts.

A cold is enough to kill you now.

They do not help.

They just make it all worst.

They see you as an abomination.

They keep a distance,

Avoid you.

This is just how we were taught

To treat people who got it.

Bigot, ignorant, jerk.

They are the real monsters,

Not you.

Headache

Your head hurts all day.

Nonstop pain.

Migraine, stress, hypertension.

It feels as if your eyes were exploding outwards.

A timed bomb that never explodes?

It might be psychological.

Nonstop pain.

Sinus, tension, cluster.

Fells like your skull is breaking open.

Your head hurts all day.

Maggots

Eating from the inside.

Eating the flesh

Of empty shells.

Bodies of once alive beings.

Maggots rising on

The surface of the skin.

Hot, arid temperatures.

The carcass reeks.

Dead now. Only food.

Depression, Part I: Lost

Failed so many times.

She does not care anymore.

They do not care anymore.

Fell down to the wet floor so many times.

Take me away,

Save me from this place.

For I am

Lost.

“It’s just a phase”.

They always told her.

Kept on making fun of everything.

Such a good dad.

Take me somewhere,

Save me from this hell

For I am

Lost.

Famine

Hundreds die.

Day after day.

The children.

So many lost futures.

So many lost potentials.

How many inventors never invented?

They could all have been great people.

Where were you?

Fat millionaires.

Wasting up all of your money.

With whores and drinks.

This is famine,

The cancer you created.

Colonized and left to die.

Instead of helping them,

You just make them poorer.

You feed them with lies.

This is famine.

Tragic Artist

Yeah we know.

All you wanted was to draw but,

They discouraged you.

They said you would be poor your entire life,

They said you would fail,

They said your dreams would never come true.

Once you get far away,

You will never see them again.

Or maybe,

If things do not work for you,

You will not live in misery.

You deserved more.

You deserved so much more.

Suicide is still an option.

Death is always by your side.

Somehow

You still seem to see the light.

There is more to life than this.

Why live if you cannot enjoy the small things?

Internet Scientists

Oh, the Earth is flat.

And yeah, I’m a retard.

This science thing is bullshit

Because I say so.

Hey you Mister Dan,

Come here and feel the man.

My magic book is the absolute truth.

Lizards control the government.

Aliens built the pyramids.

The Earth is hollow.

Vaccines are mind-controlling chips.

Jews control the internet.

Atheists are disguised demons.

As my magic book says.

Homosexuality is a disease.

Oh, the Earth is flat.

Yeah, with a dome above.

China made the Virus.

The government blocks Antarctica.

To hide us the truth.

That Asgard is just around the corner.

Dinosaurs are fake.

Oh, they were just monsters,

Monsters Noah did not take in his ark,

Dolphins are minions,

Followers of the devil.

This is why they became fish

If you disagree with me,

You are wrong.

Tamires

We knew little about each other,

Even though, it felt so special

She was my first,

We were in love…

At least, I was.

Things changed.

Years went by.

We changed.

Things got bad.

We could not see eye to eye.

Too many lies.

She lied too much and

I treated her bad.

We both deserved it.

She still sent me messages.

Kept lying.

What do you want?

I know you are dating someone else.

How things change.

I hope to never see you again.

This thing I feel,

Was it all your fault?

Now I have grown,

Now I have matured,

Now I have become better.

Still wonder where you are,

I would like to tell you that I am sorry.

Things would never be the same again.

Only a Week

It lasted a week.

Short love.

We met at school.

Only at school.

We kissed.

Appearances do not matter,

Your outside might say something about you,

But it does not define you.

She was above weigh, but still

I was in love.

Problems always come sometime.

I was stupid back then.

The things I once said,

Will never say again.

It ended too fast.

Lasted only a week.

Short love.

Samara

We were so alike.

Everything matched.

We could go for a walk,

In a forest, camp for a week.

Share books.

Watch together.

We could stay under the rain.

The distance was far.

We could make it work.

You were so special.

I never met someone as special as you.

The distance was too far.

You could not wait.

You thought it would not work.

So you quit.

You wanted to be friends.

But you know,

I’m not the type for friends.

If only you waited,

I would have been there for you,

For the rest of our lives.

If that was what you wanted.

A Wonderful Carousel

Saw you on the other side

Of that filled room.

I wonder if it would ever work.

I tried talking to you.

We still have four years ahead of us.

I should not force things.

As I did in the past.

Mistakes that taught me a wonderful lesson.

A lesson that I cherish.

A wonderful carousel.

I would never leave you behind.

Never betray you.

I would never lie to you.

Never hurt you.

I saw you standing there.

All alone on the opposite side.

I wondered if it would ever work.

I should not force things.

A big mistake I did in the past.

What if there is something else…

What if I am not your type?

I decided to stay by myself.

Not bother you with my problems.

I would just scare you away.

As I have done in the past.

But I still wonder.

I will try to talk to you later.

So I wonder.

What could the future hold for us?

What if it does not work out?

I will go on my journey.

Wishing for someone, but still.

Someone like you on my side.

Maybe I will never find one.

But that is life.

And there is nothing I can do.

I hope you never forget me.

Not think of me as just another shadow.

Someone who never mattered to you.

Here I am.

Watching crows fly away.

Winter crippling toward us.

My favorite season.

I wonder.

If you would ever look at me

The same way I look at you.

I wonder.

If you would ever think of me.

The same way I think of you.

I wonder.

If you would ever love me.

The same way I love you.

A wonderful carousel.

What is going on inside your mind?

A beautiful carousel.

So beautiful you are.

You are everything I need

To keep this heart on beating.

Do You Even Care?

You don’t even talk to me.

I ask you out and you avoid me.

Do you even care?

What went wrong?

When went wrong?

I still remember.

Remember the good memories.

I know you don’t like me.

Never messaged me.

Never called me.

Never tried to be with me.

Do you even care?

Thunder

Thunder.

Some people can never hear the sound of it.

It scares them.

I like the sound of thunder.

Thunder comes with rain.

Rain I like.

Rain I love.

The sound of Thunder.

Puddles

After the storm

There are puddles everywhere.

What a beautiful day

To stay in bed,

Look out the window.

See the beauty

Created by such a destructive force.

Puddles.

Delicate Sound of Rain

It would be great

If it were to rain forever.

All day, all night.

Falling on dirt, metal, stone and wood.

Clouds covering everything.

Thunder striking.

Glad to sleep with the rain outside.

Dreaming of the never coming days.

Delicate sound of rain.

It would be great

If it were to rain forever.

All day, all night.

Depression, Part II: My special place

Leave me be, you never cared anyway.

This is my domain, my paradise.

Days of peace, inside my bedroom.

My existence.

What is the reason I live for?

Hell awaits out there.

Evil people are out there.

My mind is at peace in here.

My special place,

My bedroom.

So many thoughts,

All crossing through my mind.

Days of peace,

Here in my special place.

Opposite

All life is precious.

Even ants deserve it.

All I need

Is the love of a woman.

The Opposite of who I am.

Everything needs to die.

Life is meaningless.

I want all the woman

I can lay down with.

Bloodloss

Slowly.

Pale.

Losing my mind.

Dying.

Of Blood loss.

Outbreak, Part I: Biohazard

Rotting alive.

Your skin falls to the floor.

Tumbling toward the living.

Even dead, not giving up.

Eating their flesh.

Satiate your never-ending hunger.

The virus is spreading.

Biohazard.

The masses fall like flies.

The start of Armageddon.

The end of our species.

Outbreak.

Outbreak, Part II: Napalm

All your forces are falling down under.

Your government means dust.

The only survivors escaped to the countryside.

Scared sheep hiding themselves.

The zombies took the big cities over.

Our guns ran out of ammunition.

The last remaining authorities agreed.

Napalm.

Burning the concrete jungle down.

To end hell with fire.

Memories of past, healthy days.

Photographs on fire.

The city burn.

Ashes rain from the sky.

Outbreak, Part III: Plague

The horde left.

Covered in ashes.

Cities are no more.

Now we feast on what is out there.

Flesh eating flesh.

The disease that kills.

The plague that spreads.

Humanity paid for their crimes.

They deserved it.

For killing Earth,

Earth is killing us.

Outbreak, Part IV: Reek

“We are the few.”

“Soon, we be no more.”

Even the dead will rot.

“We end before that.”

Under the scorching sun.

“Flies and maggots will have a feast.”

Half-eaten abominations.

“There is nothing we can do, it is far too late.”

What once known

As the ‘Human race.’

Outbreak, Part V: Armageddon

Nothing left.

Everything eatable has been eaten.

Flesh and pain and misery.

Wasted existence.

Extinct now.

All eaten.

A century to be remembered

By the stones that survived the napalms.

By the leftover bones.

But now,

Everything will end.

Completely rotten.

Earth is dead.

Armageddon.

Some foresaw this,

Nobody believed them.

The end of all and nothing.

Extinction.

Armageddon.

Ukraine

When the oppression turned against you,

The world showed a blind eye.

The world left you by yourself.

The world watched them oppress your nation.

Burn your lands.

‘The police of the world’

As they were once called,

Now stand away, just watching you fall.

What a great nation for freedom

Is there nothing here that interests you?

Or maybe…

This president-chicken of yours.

See what happened to Afghanistan.

All thanks to president-chicken.

Abandoned another nation.

To be overcome by the oppression.

Opinions change over time

What you once believed

Now has changed.

Opinions are only eternal

Inside ignorant minds.

But those who are enlightened

Always change.

Together with Time.

How we all

Should be like.

The person I could never be

I could never become what you want me to be.

Be someone I am not.

What you think does not matter.

I have better things to do

Than waste my time with you.

Than to become someone like you,

Closed mind that not even air goes in.

Your own funeral

How could this happen?

Everyone who once cared about you.

Now here, tears falling on the wet dirt.

The rain is weak,

Just as their hearts.

Out of your own body,

Watching your own funeral.

Is this the afterlife?

It will not take longer

For you to be forgotten.

Fly away, lost soul.

See everything, everywhere.

You will have all eternity to watch

Everything turn to dust.

But, where is everyone else’s souls?

Swamp of existence.

Meters below the surface.

Alone for eternity.

Watch the funeral,

Of life itself.

Pitch-black Nights

Must love to sleep.

Sleep in pitch-black darkness.

Chill and rest after a long day.

Sleep and never wake up,

Forget the pain of being awake.

Wish I could dream forever.

Wish I could sleep forever.

In pitch-black nights.

Parents

The ones that should teach you.

Teach you how to love.

Not beat you whenever you did something wrong.

Do things their way.

Forget what you want.

It does not matter if you have dreams.

All you should do is blindly obey them.

Respect them.

Good that I never accepted that.

I would be a brainless machine by now.

Good that I have my own mind.

Good that I did not blindly obey them.

Couldn’t find it

I went out so many times.

I searched for it everywhere.

I found nothing.

Walking under the scorching sun.

Seen so many different faces.

“We will think about it” – they said.

So here I am.

You lost the potential in me.

You are the ones that lost something.

Not me.

Finally found a place.

After searching for so long.

I just couldn’t find it – now I am here.

Finally did it.

Vacation

Whenever I go there,

I feel so bad.

Maybe it’s the big city. (Maybe not).

Maybe it’s me. (Might be it).

Maybe it’s this place. (So uncomfortable).

Truth is, I don’t know (Never will).

Why this feeling.

Overcomes me.

I hate going to that city.

The city.

This vacation I always hated going.

But they always took me there.

They knew I hated that place.

Are You There?

Are you there?

Can you hear me?

I want to hear your voice.

I want it so much.

I want to be with you.

I want to be yours.

Are you there?

I will get to you.

We will be together.

I will be finally with you.

By your side.

In your arms.

You in mine.

Are you listening?

Still Waiting for You

I am still,

Still here,

Still here for you,

Still waiting for you.

How could I have forgotten?

The feeling of your voice?

The sound of your love?

I wanted you.

I want you.

I need you.

What if you never find someone to love?

What if you live in poverty?

Someone who loves you as much as I do?

I fear you being alone forever.

I do not want to think about how you would feel.

I just want to be with you.

Give you happiness and love.

Give you everything you need.

I am still waiting for you.

You Live Only Once

This thing called life.

We all experience it,

Sad and happy moments,

You should cherish them all.

Even if things do not work

The way you intended them to,

There could still be

A better tomorrow.

Fly away from pain,

Circle inside the clouds,

Enjoy the little time you have.

We only live once.

Find your match,

Two souls together.

Fly away from hate,

Find the one thing you need

To be at peace.

Up on the clouds,

With that person who loves you.

Bright-blue skies.

Fly away.

When you least expect it

It comes out of nowhere.

Look at the sun.

Look at the clouds.

Feel the warmth.

Fell the light, feel the love.

But it comes suddenly,

Death is the only thing

We can all be sure that

Will

Happen someday.

When you least expect it.

Peace somewhere else

You should go,

Leave.

There is no peace here,

This place filled with hate.

And frustration.

And pain.

Go there, where you can live.

Peace might be

Somewhere else.

Carrie

They all deserved it.

Electrified and burned.

Always making fun of her.

Only one had a heart of gold.

Tom was too good to die like that.

Deserving more.

But for them all,

Death,

Is the only thing they deserved.

Not him.

Leybelle

Dear. (Our dear).

Dear. (You are).

Dear. (We love you).

Look deep inside your eyes.

Through the mirror.

Dear Leybelle.

Be happy with who you are.

Move on,

Enjoy all that is.

Dear Leybelle.

Dragon, Part I: The Fire Clan

Swords of flames.

The clan roars.

Barking like dogs.

Ready for the games.

See the Dragon.

Feel the Dragon.

Be the Dragon.

Fight the Dragon.

Welcome to the Dragon clan.

You have awakened another flame.

Someone to break the frame.

Dragon, Part II: Night of the Swords

The gods on our side.

Ready for the battle.

For the glory of the dynasty.

We must win this for the emperor.

We must fight against the ride.

Our swords draw.

Our sweat falls.

Our shields raise.

Not a single flaw.

We prepare against the wave.

Javelins thrown into the wind.

Our walls have fallen.

The horde is here.

That was all we gave.

Dragon, Part III: Genghis Khan

Breath of the Dragon.

The devil himself.

We ride into the lands of gold.

We ride against the rich.

We kill everything.

We are the lich.

We are the horde.

Genghis Khan commands us.

The horde of gold.

From up the steppes.

Down from heel.

Our swords of flames.

The end of your dynasty.

End of the river

On our own boat.

Everyone has their own.

We follow the currents,

Of the bottomless river.

One’s destination.

Some get there soon,

Some get there late,

Some never really leave the port.

You might sink down.

Into the red water.

Never to be seen again.

Not able to help or be helped.

Facts can tell many lies,

The truth is single,

And the river

Ends for everybody.

Welcome

To the end of the river.

You can’t even see you own reflection.

Disgusting Existence

All night, all night long.

Such a disgusting thing.

Sweaty and stinky.

Make it public so all can see.

Pleasure

It feels good.

Feels so good.

Flesh.

This pleasure could last forever.

When it does end,

The guilt kicks in.

All the things you did,

Such disgusting things.

How could you?

Why did you do it?

Do you like doing it?

Should not have.

Now this guilt takes your fragile mind over.

Broken

It is now broken,

A part of me.

As important as my heart,

As essential as my brain.

Now broken.

How could we be so dependent?

Life breaks us.

The things we like.

I like.

The people once trusted.

Now I am abandoned.

In a ditch,

Now broken,

It is all on the outside.

So important to us.

The pink moon.

Van’s art.

The endless river.

All so tragic.

Will one day I be remembered?

Everyone will.

They looked away…

As people always did in the past,

History repeats itself.

Hair

It grew longer but…

Still did not wave against the wind.

It took me 18 years

To finally accept this.

Too firm to fall over.

All curvy.

Let grow through a year, not shaving.

They bothered me every day.

“You look so ugly with that, cut it over.”

I do not care.

Your shitty opinions.

Matter not.

Look at who you are.

The man spent your life with.

Stop complaining about how I look.

It’s not like you care.

Depression, Part III: Moving on

Even though I have no reason to live.

I will still go on.

Maybe one day I will have one.

Find what I am looking for.

But.

If things fail.

Maybe ending it all might me the right thing to do.

End the pain I feel every day.

Dissipate.

Move on.

Winter

Locked at home.

Freezing temperatures outside.

I love this feeling.

When the cold season comes.

I can dress the way I want.

Not concerned for the scorching sun.

I love this feeling.

The cold season reminds me

Of how I emotionally feel.

That I love.

Being alone.

I just love winter so much.

London

I want to go to a calm place.

Up on the north.

Live the last years of my life there.

Cloudy place.

Cold temperatures that I love.

Far away.

Be a stranger in paradise.

Alone.

Maybe there is someone like me somewhere.

How can anyone like summer?

Hot and sweaty.

Stinking even after the shower.

Cannot even go outside.

The scorching sun burns us alive.

How can any sane mind like summer?

Beaches are boring.

I like to wear many clothes.

Stinking and sweaty.

Then there’s this global warming.

Pity future generations

I hate summer.

Cold

I wish.

To live in some cold place.

Norway.

Sweden.

Finland.

Scotland.

Canada.

Ireland.

Denmark.

A cold place for me to live.

Live the rest of my life.

At the edge of existence.

The border of my last remaining days.

On a comfortable cabin.

Drinking hot chocolate.

Just by the fire.

A snowstorm outside.

How I wish to live in a cold place.

Please, take me away

From this painful place.

Bring me to a cold place.

For my last remaining days.

Meaningless Interaction

Nothing more than a meaningless action.

You would have done it with anyone.

It was just an emotionless kiss.

You would have done it with anyone.

Beneath all this pretty face and soft words.

Nothing more than a meaningless action.

Beneath all this pretty face and soft words.

You would have done it with anyone.

Nothing more than a meaningless action.

Beneath all this pretty face and soft words.

It was just an emotionless kiss,

One you would have done with anyone,

Nothing more than a meaningless interaction.

Boring

There is one cursed word…

One cursed word I hate!

Boring’s the word…

“Cool” assholes with their shitty opinions,

With their “cool” taste in things.

That’s the word they love to use…

Boring, boring, boring, BORING!

The word I hate to hear.

As if they weren’t living boredom itself.

Alcoholic

Let’s waste all our money

(All on alcohol).

Partying and drinking

(Everyone on alcohol).

Every single night

(Drinking every single night).

Until we introduce something “cool”

(The good stuff).

Strange

Call me weird.

Call me strange.

Call me a creep.

Better than to be like you.

Judge me any way you want.

I am myself.

I am unique.

I am honest with who I am.

Different from all of you.

Fake smiles and fancy clothes.

Is that what you really want?

Your opinions do not matter.

Shitty opinions.

Spiderotoxicmania

Breather,

Feel the spiders inside you.

Breathe in,

The toxic air that burns your lungs.

Acid spills out.

Drink the poison.

Let the venom corrupt you.

Your body is melting

Your organs are failing.

Breather,

Feel the spiders inside you.

Breathe in,

The toxic air that burns your lungs.

Your blood is now acid.

Your skin now covered in scars.

Spiders breed inside you.

Your body is rotten.

You are still alive.

Girl

Met someone beautiful.

Such a beautiful girl.

Such a beautiful face.

She was so cute.

I wanted to meet her so bad.

I wanted to get closer to her.

I walked her to like me…

She was a he.

Is this really a problem?

As long as he looks like a girl.

As long as he sounds like a girl.

As long as he is the girl.

We can still have

A lot of fun.

Give Me

Give me medicine.

Give me money.

Give me solace.

Give me peace.

Give me comfort.

Give me freedom.

Give me strength.

Give me the medicine.

Give me a life.

Holder of the Truth

Don’t order me around.

Don’t tell me what to do.

You’re not better than me.

You’re just a religious rat.

Too blind to see the truth.

Alienated all your life.

With this disease called religion.

Something to give meaning to your life.

Follow the path of the fool.

Die knowing

Your life is a lie.

You holder of the truth.

An illusion you call true.

Not meant to be

Sucking so much at this.

It feels like it was…

Not meant to be.

So I distance myself.

From this fake reality.

And I tried so many times.

Now is time to stop.

Forget this cancer.

Move on.

Brainless people.

With their brainless routines.

The fairy fantasy gone.

They took it all too seriously.

Depression, Part IV: Certain

Although life is gray.

Although life is pain.

Although life is filth.

Although life is sick.

Although life is hatred.

Although life is meaningless.

Although life is disgusting.

Although life is temporary.

Death is certain.

Dreams

Visions of depressing, dark worlds.

So many stories could be written off them.

Scary places haunted with cursed souls.

Rotting planks holding abandoned buildings.

Stones cut by long-gone civilizations.

Temples of long extinct religions.

Empires that once existed.

Bloodlines that were once important.

But they are all just part of a dream.

A dream that ends once I awake.

Doom…

Now you are all dead.

Got what you deserved.

After the things you did.

Doomed.

This illusion has ended.

The god of death.

Glances down on us.

Doomed.

Into the wasteland.

Crows eat the remnants.

All hail Satan.

You are all doomed.

This Doom…

…Death

EVEN IN DEATH

YOU’RE STILL SO STUBBORN.

NEVER ACCEPTED THE TRUTH.

YOUR CRAP THEORIES.

BASED ON NOTHING BUT SHIT.

ALWAYS SO IGNORANT.

LET THERE BE GORE.

DEVIL MAY HAVE MERCY ON US.

TOO BAD NEITHER HE NOR GOD EXIST.

THE WORMS EAT.

SURROUNDED BY WOLVES.

CERBERUS RIP THE REMAINING FLESH

OF YOUR DECEASED BONES.

YOU’LL ALL BURN ETERNALLY.

IN THE EMPTINESS OF DEATH.

Confidence

When you think you suck.

Staying around like a duck.

People around say you’re good.

That improves your mood.

All you need is confiden-cy.

Maybe you should run for presidency.

That might sound cringe.

Just find another series to binge.

Eternal Rains

When the skies turned gray.

Later became black.

The eternal rains are here.

Eternal rains forever.

This world covered in wet.

To never stop.

Never again.

Manipulation

Shut up and listen.

You are wrong and I am right.

What you think does not matter

Because I am absolutely right.

Born from the explosion.

You will go to hell.

I do not care whatever proof you have,

My magic book is always right.

You will dress the way I want,

Eat the food I choose,

Work with what I order

And you will accept and obey me.

Your future wife will be like me,

A Christian woman.

Because I am the best person of all.

Anybody who disagrees with me is wrong

And possessed by Satan.

I will be glad.

The day I am gone.

Far from you.

Exemplary

Hey you, disappointment,

Want to have that weird haircut?

You’re such a disappointment.

I am exemplary.

Now get this gift.

And see me as a hero.

If you do not do things the same way I do,

You are a disappointment,

Will be a junkie someday.

I am exemplary.

Now have this book.

I am impeccable, the wisest man alive.

We never went to the moon, it is all lies.

Always correct, so listen to way I say.

And see me as exemplary.

The best straight man ever.

I do not care if you are unhappy.

Depression is just a phase.

I do not care about whatever nice thing you did today,

Have you studied yet?

Because I am exemplary.

Now have this game and shut up.

Open mind

Science is magic,

It just depends on whose perspective.

It shows us things

Some still do not believe.

I have decided to keep my mind open.

Maybe ghosts and the afterlife do exist.

The only way I will ever know

Is when death comes to get me.

Long trip

From east to the west.

One end to the other

One side to the other.

I’m going where you are,

To be by your side.

I want to be with you,

The place I belong.

Optimist, Part I: I am Here

I am here.

Yes I finally am.

This is a good place to be.

This is a good time to be alive.

I am so luck to be here.

I am so happy to be here.

Finally things worked.

I am finally here.

Yes I am.

I am the optimist.

Optimist, Part II: No Time for Problems

Everybody has so many problems.

Everybody is always frustrated.

I see it in my friends.

I see it all around.

I just do not think about them.

I just solve them when possible.

No time for worries.

No time for problems.

Only Optimism.

Optimist, Part III: Tomorrow

When it all seen to be pain.

When everything is in vain.

My mother is so pessimistic.

Seems so unrealistic.

But I know tomorrow is better.

Things will work.

The good win in the end.

We always do.

Tomorrow has better things.

Better things waiting for us.

I know because I am optimist.

Depths

The bottom of darkness.

The abyssal zone.

The inner depths

Of this planet called Earth.

What could be living there?

We might never know.

Imagine the secrets

Hidden at the bottom.

A mirror of our existence.

Dark thoughts we hide.

Do not stay down there too much,

You might become part of it.

Glassing waves.

Erosion intensifies.

Kraken rises.

The depths we will never meet.

Brainwashed army

Unstoppable.

Copied and pasted.

An enormous army

Of brainwashed robots

Controlled by politicians.

Those who sit in their fancy chairs,

Ordering the masses

Into their own deaths.

Where is freedom?

Your opinions do not matter.

You emotions do not matter.

You will accept.

Follow the masses, as one of their own.

An enormous unstoppable army

Of brainwashed robots.

The Great Lie

The entire cattle follows him blindly.

Their idol made of poop.

Blood covers their hands.

The living cancer ruling the tumor army.

They substituted their god for this crap.

A genocidal dumbass.

Some will vote for that other criminal.

Another great lie.

A drunkard who stole millions.

A lefty who controls the brain-dead masses.

Brainless cattle, marching to their death.

All part of this sea of shit.

Wasteland

The lone wolf.

No goal, no destiny, only sand.

His only company

Ghosts of a violent past.

Ages of past glory.

Martial arts long dead.

When he was a cop.

Just another guy with a job.

Now he walks into the horizon.

Until the day he dies.

Dirty water

Disgusting

Dirty water.

Filled with disease.

Fly larvae swimming.

Made you sick,

Made me sick.

Feeling tired.

Illness.

Like a bee swarm.

Painful stings.

Filled with bacteria and virus.

Cry of Fear

Abandoned.

Mistreated.

Even the girl he loved

Looked away.

Wondering alone

In empty streets.

Nobody ever worried.

Nobody ever cared.

The Black day.

He lost the little he had.

Crushed on a wall by a car.

Paralyzed from the waist down.

Poor Simon.

He is nothing.

His doctor is only a facade.

Even he cares little.

He just started his book.

One day he got them both.

Shot them dead.

The doctor and the girl.

They paid.

Simon ended his suffering right after.

Just a cry of fear.

Nobody would ever listen.

Gothic

Haunted cemeteries.

Churches built long ago.

Such architecture…

Ghosts from forgotten times.

Catholic Church still in command.

Chains and books.

Black Death and the Inquisition.

How many souls were killed?

Almighty word.

Stealing from the poor.

How many souls were murdered?

Burned in piles,

It is all too much unfair.

At least their buildings look nice.

Is this what I really want?

Walking home.

The same streets as last night.

The same streets as last week.

The same streets as last month.

“Is this what I really want?”

“It’s been so long.”

“Since I felt so motivated.”

“It’s been so long.”

“Since I could imagine what the future could hold for me.”

(What the future could hold).

(For someone like me).

(But I still question):

“Is this what I really want?”

Computers have always been better than people anyway.

Trueselves

Everybody has something to hide.

The things people think.

The thinks people have done.

How we treat each other.

The words once spoken.

Some no religion could save.

Some not even a mother love.

Only pain remains inside.

Nobody ever admits their fault.

It is all the fault of others.

The world made people this way.

Is out there truly…

Truly someone perfect?

Mist

An entire city.

Devoid of people.

Barking and chirping far away.

Echoing through the void.

Carried by the wind.

No star up on the sky.

For it is engulfed behind clouds.

Twilight over to the horizon.

Mist rises.

Such a beautiful view.

Nobody there to see it…

Scythe

An angel with her scythe.

Chopping off the fields.

Slashing the masses with disease.

“Black Death” is how we remember it.

Cleansed the globe.

From the real plague.

The human race.

Felt Nothing

When you realize,

Money has no actual value.

It is just a number.

A thing that moves

The modern society we all live in.

If only people

Were to think about it in depth.

Everybody would realize

Money is only a piece of paper.

When I spent three hundred to buy clothes…

I felt nothing.

I felt nothing because I know.

I know money has no actual value.

It is only an illusion.

An illusion we need to keep on going.

Sometimes I feel.

Feel like going away,

To a Buddhist temple,

Something of those sorts.

A place to meditate,

A place to wait until the end comes.

A place to be at peace.

Far away from the illusion everybody has to live.

Because I feel,

This will not last for long.

Mother Nature

Horizon down.

Sweet nature.

Take me to the center

Of your beauty.

Show me everything.

Let us walk on the path

Of your love.

Mother Nature.

Trees as tall as the skies.

Nectar, bees and insects.

Streams of crystal-clear water.

Gaia, mother of nature.

Give me your peace.

You still love us.

Even though we destroy you every day.

Fight, Gaia!

Earth is dying! Fight Gaia, fight!

Humanity? A disease, get them off you now!

Save the planet! Global warming is a fever…

Please Gaia… Why are you just letting us kill you?

Scratch

Open wounds.

The itching.

Never stops.

This disease

Of yours

Will only

Grow worse.

And you

Will scratch it.

Open the

Wounds again.

And the infection

Will kill you.

Abraham Lincoln/Welcome to Brazil

“Give a man power,

You will see who that person really is”.

Something amongst those lines.

True it is.

When a maniac finally gets control of a nation,

The peoples are corrupted.

A mirror of their mentally unstable “leader”.

Welcome to Brazil.

A country where the masses follow shit.

When you stop to think about it…

The best “president” we ever had was a dictator.

There you can see how awful this nation is.

At least Getúlio did things.

Different to these assholes we have nowadays.

Welcome to Brazil.

Depression, Part V: Temporary

Why such a temporary happiness?

Why can’t we feel this good forever?

Once this feeling goes away… Only pain is left…

Why is happiness temporary?

27 Days Later

It really was their fault for not having good security.

Some hippies broke inside and somehow released the virus.

The scientist tried to warn them, but they ignored him, as always.

In less than a month, whole England was virtually dead.

A tale of despair and death, simultaneously linked.

It sounds weird, yes, how do you feel?

Why is your mouth foaming?

Industrial

Machines improve.

Technologies advance.

Cultures change.

Information spreads.

We are globalized.

The markets worldwide.

We can stop working too hard,

We can study more and get higher positions.

The machines will take over the smaller jobs.

Is this really what we want?

What if…?

What if?

We have gone far too industrial.

Acceptance

In this shitty country.

In this shitty family.

In this shitty city.

With this shitty hair.

With this shitty glasses.

With this shitty spine.

It took me long to accept.

But I will have what I deserve.

One day. Someday.

All that I always deserved.

Dirt

He’s the bully.

He’s the man.

He’s the one who will put dirt in your eye.

Be careful.

He’s here.

He’s waiting for you.

He’s watching you.

He’s dancing.

Little junior, it’s your time.

And the man will but some dirt in your eye.

Body Horror

Those things.

Monstrous things.

Creatures.

They are all made of human flesh.

Muscles, bones, nerves and fat.

Paranoia took the group over.

It came from another world.

An abomination made to kill.

You damn altered beast.

You altered King Giz.

Now alter me!

We do not even know who is infected.

It is among them.

Until they are all dead.

Suspicion kicks in.

They cannot trust each other.

Last Man Alive

Empty cities.

Empty forests.

Empty planet.

Everyone’s missing.

But you’re still here.

You’re the last.

Everything’s empty now.

But nature is still here.

Animals and plants growing over.

Claiming back what was once theirs.

What humans stole from them.

But you’re still here.

To witness nature’s beauty.

Enjoy this movie.

Gaia’s theater presents:

The Last Man Alive.

The Last Living Thing

It has seen everything.

It has felt everything.

It has tasted everything.

It has smelled everything.

It has done everything.

Lived through eons.

Achieved all it wished.

A curse now haunts it,

A curse called ‘Immortality’.

Now that every civilization is gone.

Now that the space is a pitch-black starless oblivion.

Now that every living being has died.

It is the first.

It is the last.

The last living thing.

Only it and clouds of dust

Remain in this emptiness.

Amygdala

Cursed by a witch, now a walking disease.

Roaming the Earth, no goal and no end.

Everywhere she passes by, death takes over.

The harbinger of death, covered by a stench.

Wounds cover her skin, all the plagues in her body.

Amygdala brings death, for her that is her purpose.

Some made tales of her being a god.

Others called her a demon.

Drugs

It starts with a simple smoke.

Alcohol is too weak now.

Then you get something stronger.

There is no way back from here.

It will only get worse and worse every time.

Be careful with who you call your friends.

When you need them, they are gone.

It starts with a simple smoke.

Alcohol is too weak now.

Then you get something stronger.

Smile

Have a smile.

Hide how you really feel.

When they ask how you are,

Lie with a smile.

You know they do not care.

Just show them a smile.

The is the only face

They want to see.

Give them a smile.

Instead of your miserable truth.

That is how things are.

That is how people are.

Alice

Alice…

Alice…

Alice…

You never wanted to leave your basement.

Your white skin just cannot take the sun.

The psychiatrist tried to help you.

Your depression suppressed you.

Your parents still care for you.

Living in the basement.

All you want is to be by yourself.

Stillborn

Do you remember the day?

When we lost everything we had?

When our baby died?

God abandoned us, betrayed us.

This is all because of those people.

You could never forget what happened, could you?

We had to go on, but you did not get far.

Maybe this is all my fault, past sins back to punish me.

Stillborn.

I hope you two are at peace.

I hope you two are in heaven.

Two things that could never happen to me.

Punished

Their blood on your hands.

They will burn for eternity.

Down into the sea of souls.

Impaling through their bodies.

The maggots will eat the rest.

They will be punished by that whom they tortured.

He will come back and give them what they deserve.

Rejected by everyone who thinks they’re better.

Out of place

I felt sick.

All those fake smiles around me.

Assholes with shitty opinions.

Always

Thinking about their shitty parties.

Listening to their shitty music.

Talking about their shitty life.

Meaningless existence.

Miserable people.

I am so out of place.

I was so out of place.

I am not anymore.

Soul of the road

Died on the road.

Your luck ran out.

Just as your brains blew out.

The famous soul of the road.

Back when alive

You stole from others.

You left only dust.

You let them starve.

Now you are on a grave.

Your story is now ashes.

And the tale of the soul of the road

Will linger forever.

Alone again, as always

Alone again, at peace.

Alone again, as always.

Their presence meant nothing to me.

My presence meant nothing to them.

When I disappeared, they did not care.

Things happened.

Time went by.

No one missed me.

I do not regret anything.

I do not miss anyone.

Alone again, finally at peace.

Their presence did nothing to me.

Dressed in black

Not missing the dead.

Not dropping a tear.

Not caring for emotions.

They all cried nonstop.

For the long-lost members of our family.

Who are all burning eternally.

In their fake imaginary hell.

All dressed in black.

As if it actually mattered.

Not caring at all.

Not worrying about sins.

Not recalling the past.

Politician

Fat politicians ordering men to die.

Spending all day just sitting down.

You just sign on a paper and doom thousands of souls.

To fight your own ego war.

You are all like hyenas.

One dumbass who said:

“Better have gunpowder once saliva is over.”

That asshole who betrayed everything he promised.

The squid man.

Spreading your ignorance.

Beloved by the dumb masses.

Once arrested, now free because of corruption.

Yet, people will vote on you two.

Pathetic man with pathetic followers.

One day people will wake up.

But not on our generation.

Numbered days

With the days counted.

You found peace of mind.

Knowing when you will die.

People around you search

For a way to prolong your life.

They are ignorant of the fact

That you are happy.

That you accepted this.

With the days numbered.

Scammers

“We are interested in you.”

“Your texts impressed us.”

“Your book is perfect!”

“Here’s our contract:”

“Yes, that’s right, you have to pay us!”

“Buy your own book… Hahaha!”

Now what I said was so polite.

But didn’t say what I really wanted.

Fuck you Scammers!

You think I’m a dumbass?

I bet you haven’t even read my book.

If you use any of what I wrote…

We will meet at the tribunal.

What about John?

Jason loves his fruits.

Jackson has a knife collection.

Jones loves music.

What about John?

Joel has a cat.

Joseph loves dogs.

James killed an ant.

What about John?

Jake feeds this turtle.

Jayme has tattoos.

Jonathan plays a game.

What about John you ask…?

John is a serial killer.

John has bodies under his bed.

John had a taste of human meat.

Are you alive?

Depression, Part VI: Find it

Find what keeps you living.

Find that one thing which matters to you.

The one person who loves you.

That one song that cheers you.

That one food you love.

Never give up.

Someone will miss you.

Someone who really loves you.

You might think not, but it is true.

Keep on living.

One day, happiness will be yours.

You will find love.

You will find warmth.

You will find peace.

You just need to find it.

Dead Flowers

Dead flowers,

From the gardens.

Hanging up from Babylon.

They are all gone now.

Long dead, long forgotten.

The way down is faster.

Shorter than a dying person’s last breath…